The
QFS is committed to bringing to your
attention any and all information that will help you to live a life free of the
soul-killling manipulations of others.
Our Sincere Thanks
to the Owner of the website on Psychopathic Personality Disorder for kind permission to
quote her research in assembling this report. Most of the material here is hers,
and is, therefore, from the early stages of research into this problem. Until we
began to investigate, we had NO idea how widespread the problem was, and how
many victims there are. Visit her site, check her links to support groups and
the Flying Free Webring. For a more comprehensive look at the problem, based on
our OWN research, please read our new article:
"Official Culture" in
America: A Natural State of Psychopathy?
As many of you who
are seeking understanding of psychopathy know, Hervey Cleckley's book The
Mask of Sanity, the absolutely essential study of the psychopath who is
not necessarily of the criminal type, is no longer available. We have it scanned
and our team of researchers spent two weeks going over the text carefully to
eliminate text conversion errors. You may download the entire book FREE as a PDF
from the link at left, top. Read A Sample Chapter of The Mask
of Sanity
"Likeable,"
"Charming," "Intelligent," "Alert," "Impressive," "Confidence-inspiring," and "A
great success with the ladies": These are the sorts of descriptions repeatedly
used by Cleckley famous case-studies of psychopaths. They are also, of course,
"irresponsible," "self-destructive," and the like. These descriptions highlight
the great frustrations and puzzles that surround the study of psychopathy.
Psychopaths seem to
have in abundance the very traits most desired by normal persons. The untroubled
self-confidence of the psychopath seems almost like an impossible dream and is
generally what "normal" people seek to acquire when they attend assertiveness
training classes. In many instances, the magnetic attraction of the psychopath
for members of the opposite sex seems almost supernatural.
Cleckley's seminal
hypothesis concerning the psychopath is that he suffers from a very real mental
illness indeed: a profound and incurable affective deficit. If he really feels
anything at all, they are emotions of only the shallowest kind. He does bizarre
and self-destructive things because consequences that would fill the ordinary
man with shame, self-loathing, and embarrassment simply do not affect the
psychopath at all. What to others would be a disaster is to him merely a
fleeting inconvenience.
Cleckley also gives
grounds for the view that psychopathy is quite common in the community at large.
He has collected some cases of psychopaths who generally function normally in
the community as businessmen, doctors, and even psychiatrists.
Some researchers
see criminal psychopathy as an extreme of a "normal" personality dimension (or
dimensions). They characterize criminal psychopaths as "unsuccessful
psychopaths." The implication, of course, is that many psychopaths may exist in
society who cope better than do those who come to the attention of the
judicial and welfare systems. Harrington goes so far as to say that the
psychopath is the new man being produced by the evolutionary pressures of modern
life. Other researchers criticize this view, pointing out the real disabilities
that the clinical psychopath also suffers.
The study of
"ambulatory" psychopaths - what we call "The Garden Variety Psychopath" - has,
however, hardly begun. Very little is known about subcriminal
psychopathy. However, some researchers have begun to seriously consider the
idea that it is important to study psychopathy not as an artificial clinical
category but as a general personality trait in the community at large. In
other words, psychopathy is being recognized as a more or less a "different type
of human."
One very
interesting aspect of the psychopath is his "hidden life" that is often not too
well hidden. It seems that the psychopath has a regular need to take a "vacation
into filth and degradation" the same way normal people may take a vacation to a
resort where they enjoy beautiful surroundings and culture. To get a full
feeling for this strange "need" of the psychopath - a need that seems to be
evidence that "acting human" is very stressful to the psychopath - read more of
The Mask of
Sanity, chapters 25 and 26. Also, read Cleckley's speculations on what was "really wrong" with these
people. He comes very close to suggesting that they are human in every respect -
but that they lack a soul.
This lack of "soul
quality" makes them very efficient "machines." They can be brilliant, write
scholarly works, imitate the words of emotion, but over time, it becomes clear
that their words do not match their actions. They are the type of person who can
claim that they are devastated by grief who then attend a party "to forget." The
problem is: they really DO forget.
Being very
efficient machines, like a computer, they are able to execute very complex
routines designed to elicit from others support for what they want. In this way,
many psychopaths are able to reach very high positions in life. It is only over
time that their associates become aware of the fact that their climb up the
ladder of success is predicated on violating the rights of others.
"Even when they
are indifferent to the rights of their associates, they are often able to
inspire feelings of trust and confidence."
The psychopath
recognizes no flaw in his psyche, no need for change.
At the
present time, there is a veritable explosion of reports from our readers about
their experiences with individuals they have encountered in the "alternative
research" fields, as well as in general interactions of their lives. What is so
shocking is the number of such individuals that must exist, based on these
reports. This is not just an occasional event, it seems to be almost a pandemic!
Our research team
and egroup have been engaged for some time in researching and analyzing these
interactions and the characteristics and the dynamics and the personalities. Our
research has led us to identify them with what is known in psychological
parlance as "Psychopaths."
They can also be
Narcissists since Narcissism seems to be merely a "facet" of the psychopath. You
could say that the Narcissist is a "garden variety psychopath" who, because of
his or her "social programming," has less likelihood of running afoul of the
law. In this way, they are very efficient "survival machines," living out their
lives doing untold damage to their families, friends and business associates.
It is only when a
person takes a long and careful look at the full-blown psychopath - a sort of
exaggerated Narcissist - that they are able to see the caricature of the traits
that then make it easier for them to identify the "garden variety" psychopath -
the Narcissist.
Our world seems to
have been invaded by individuals whose approach to life and love is so
drastically different from what has been the established norm for a very long
time that we are ill- prepared to deal with their tactics of what can be called
the "plausible lie."
We can even see
that this philosophy of the "plausible lie" has overtaken the legal and
administrative domains of our world, turning them into machines in which human
beings with real emotions are destroyed. The recent movie, "The Matrix," touched
a deep chord in society because it exemplified this mechanistic trap in which so
many people find their lives enmeshed, and from which they are unable to
extricate themselves because they believe that everyone around them who "looks
human" is, in fact, just like them - emotionally, spiritually, and
otherwise.
Take, for example,
the "legal argument." The legal argument seems to be at the foundation of our
society. This amounts to little more than con-artistry: the one who is the
slickest at using the structure for convincing a group of people of something,
is the one who is believed.
Because this "legal
argument" system has been slowly installed as part of our culture, when it
invades our personal lives, we normally do not recognize it immediately. Human
beings have been accustomed to assume that other human beings are - at the very
least - trying to "do right" and "be good" and fair and honest.
And so, very often,
we do not take the time to use due diligence in order to determine if a person
who has entered our life is, in fact, a "good person." And when a conflict
ensues, we automatically fall into the cultural assumption that in any conflict,
one side is partly right one way, and the other is partly right the other, and
that we can form opinions about which side is mostly right or wrong.
Because of our
exposure to the "legal argument" norms, when any dispute arises, we
automatically think that the truth will lie somewhere between two extremes.
In this case, I
would like to apply a little mathematical logic to the problem of the legal
argument. Let us assume that in a dispute, one side is innocent, honest, and
tells the truth. It is obvious that lying does an innocent person no good; what
lie can he tell? If he is innocent, the only lie he can tell is to falsely
confess "I did it."
But lying is
nothing but good for the liar. He can declare that "I didn't do it," and accuse
another of doing it, all the while the innocent person he has accused is saying
"I didn't do it," and is actually telling the truth.
The truth - when
twisted by good liars, can always make an innocent person look bad - especially
if the innocent person is honest and admits his mistakes.
The basic
assumption that the truth lies between the testimony of the two sides always
shifts the advantage to the lying side and away from the side telling the truth.
Under most
circumstances, this shift put together with the fact that the truth is going to
also be twisted in such a way as to bring detriment to the innocent person,
results in the advantage always resting in the hands of liars - psychopaths.
Even the simple act of giving testimony under oath is useless. If a person is a
liar, swearing an oath means nothing to that person. However, swearing an oath
acts strongly on a serious, truthful witness. Again, the advantage is placed on
the side of the liar.
This highlights one
of the unique things about the psychopath - their inability to conceive of the
abstract idea of "the future." It has often been noted that psychopaths have a
distinct advantage over human beings with conscience and feelings because the
psychopath does not have conscience and feelings. What seems to be so is that
conscience and feelings are related to the abstract concepts of "future" and
"others." It is "spatio-temporal."
We can feel fear,
sympathy, empathy, sadness, and so on because we can IMAGINE in an abstract way,
the future based on our own experiences in the past, or even just "concepts of
experiences" in myriad variations. We can "predict" how others will react
because we are able to "see ourselves" in them even though they are "out there"
and the situation is somewhat different externally, though similar in dynamic.
In other words, we can not only identify with others spatially - so to say - but
also temporally - in time.
The psychopath does
not seem to have this capacity. They are unable to "imagine" in the sense of
being able to really connect to images in a direct "self connecting to another
self" sort of way.
Oh, indeed, they
can imitate feelings, but the only real feelings they seem to have - the thing
that drives them and causes them to act out different dramas for effect - are a
sort of adrenaline based "fear" of loss of what they want. That is to say, they
"feel" need/want as love, and not having their needs/wants met is described as
"not being loved" by them.
What is more, this
"need/want" perspective posits that only the "hunger" of the psychopath is
valid, and anything and everything "out there," outside of the psychopath, is
not real except insofar as it has the capability of being assimilated to the
psychopath as a sort of "food." Can it be used or can it provide something is
the only issue about which the psychopath seems to be concerned. All else - all
activity - is subsumed to this drive.
In short, the
psychopath - and the narcissist - is a predator. And if we think about the
interactions of predators with their prey in the animal kingdom, we can come to
some idea of the "mask of sanity" of the psychopath. Just as an animal predator
will adopt all kinds of stealthy functions in order to stalk their prey, cut
them out of the herd, get close to them and reduce their resistance, so does the
psychopath construct all kinds of elaborate camoflage composed of words and
appearances - lies and manipulations - in order to "assimilate" their prey.
This leads us to an
important quesion: what does the psychopath REALLY get from their victims?
It's easy to see
what they are after when they lie and manipulate for money or material goods or
power. But in many instances, such as love relationships or faked friendships,
it is not so easy to see what the psychopath is after. Without wandering too far
afield into spiritual speculations - a problem Cleckley also faced - we can only
say that it seems to be that the psychopath ENJOYS making others suffer.
Anyone who has ever
observed a cat playing with a mouse before killing and eating it has probably
explained to themselves that the cat is just "entertained" by the antics of the
mouse and is unable to conceive of the terror and pain being experienced by the
mouse, and the cat, therefore, is innocent of any evil intent. The mouse dies,
the cat is fed, and that is nature.
Psychopaths don't
generally eat their victims.
Yes, in extreme
cases the entire cat and mouse dynamic is carried out and cannibalism has a long
history wherein it was assumed that certain powers of the victim could be
assimilated by eating some particular part of them. But in ordinary life,
psychopaths and narcissists don't go all the way, so to say. This causes us to
revisit the cat and mouse scenarios again with different eyes. Now we ask: is it
too simplistic to think that the innocent cat is merely entertained by the mouse
running about and frantically trying to escape?
Is there something
more to this dynamic than meets the eye? Is there something more than being
"entertained" by the antics of the mouse trying to flee?
After all, in terms
of evolution, why would such behavior be hard-wired into the cat? Is the mouse
tastier because of the chemicals of fear that flood his little body? Is a mouse
frozen with terror more of a "gourmet" meal? This, of course, suggests that we
ought to revisit our ideas about psychopaths with a slightly different
perspective.
One thing we do
know is this: many people who experience interactions with psychopaths and
narcissists report feeling "drained" and confused and often subsequently
experience deteriorating health. Does this mean that part of the dynamic, part
of the explanation for why psychopaths will pursue "love relationships" and
"friendships" that ostensibly can result in no observable material gain, is
because there is an actual energy consumption?
We do not know the
answer to this question. We observe, we theorize, we speculate and hypothesize.
But in the end, only the individual victim can determine what they have lost in
the dynamic - and it is often far more than material goods. In a certain sense,
it seems that psychopaths are "soul stealers."
The following is a
discussion, a check-list, and a "survival guide" to dealing with the psychopath
in all their many disguises. We hope that it helps the reader to avoid damaging
interactions, and that you can learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of
others who have shared their stories with us.
The terms sociopath
or psychopath often bring to mind images of sadistically violent individuals
such as Ted Bundy or the fictional character of Dr. Hannibal "The Cannibal"
Lecter in the book and movie The Silence of the Lambs. But I
believe the defining characteristic traits of sociopaths actually cover a much
broader spectrum of individuals than most of us would ever imagine. The
sociopath is that truly self-absorbed individual with no conscience or feeling
for others and for whom social rules have no meaning. I believe that most all of
us know or have come in contact with sociopathic individuals without even
knowing it. [Wendy
Koenigsmann]
What
is A Psychopath?
Psychopaths cannot
be understood in terms of antisocial rearing or development. They are simply
morally depraved individuals who represent the "monsters" in our society. They
are unstoppable and untreatable predators whose violence is planned,
purposeful and emotionless. The violence continues until it reaches a plateau at
age 50 or so, then tapers off. Their emotionlessness reflects a detached,
fearless, and possibly dissociated state, revealing a low-state autonomic
nervous system and lack of anxiety. It's difficult to say what motivates them -
control and dominance possibly - since their life history will usually show no
long-standing bonds with others nor much rhyme to their reason (other than the
planning of violence). They tend to operate with a grandiose demeanor, an
attitude of entitlement, an insatiable appetite, and a tendency toward sadism.
Fearlessness is probably the prototypical (core) characteristic (the low-fear
hypothesis). It's helpful to think of them as high-speed vehicles with
ineffective brakes. Certain organic (brain) disorders and hormonal imbalances
mimic the state of mind of a psychopath.
There are four (4)
different subtypes of psychopaths. The oldest distinction was made by Cleckley
back in 1941 between primary and secondary.
PRIMARY
PSYCHOPATHS do not respond to punishment, apprehension, stress, or
disapproval. They seem to be able to inhibit their antisocial impulses most of
the time, not because of conscience, but because it suits their purpose at the
time. Words do not seem to have the same meaning for them as they do for us. In
fact, it's unclear if they even grasp the meaning of their own words, a
condition that Cleckley called "semantic aphasia." They don't follow any life
plan, and it seems as if they are incapable of experiencing any genuine emotion.
SECONDARY
PSYCHOPATHS are risk-takers, but are also more likely to be stress-reactive,
worriers, and guilt-prone. They expose themselves to more stress than the
average person, but they are as vulnerable to stress as the average person. They
are daring, adventurous, unconventional people who began playing by their own
rules early in life. They are strongly driven by a desire to escape or avoid
pain, but are unable to resist temptation. As their anxiety increases toward
some forbidden object, so does their attraction to it. They live their lives by
the lure of temptation.
Both primary and
secondary psychopaths can be subdivided into:
DISTEMPERED
PSYCHOPATHS are the kind that seem to fly into a rage or frenzy more easily
and more often than other subtypes. Their frenzy will resemble an epileptic fit.
They are also usually men with incredibly strong sex drives, capable of
astonishing feats of sexual energy, and seemingly obsessed by sexual urges
during a large part of their waking lives. Powerful cravings also seem to
characterize them, as in drug addiction, kleptomania, pedophilia, any illicit or
illegal indulgence. They like the endorphin "high" or "rush" off of excitement
and risk-taking. The serial-rapist-murderer known as the Boston Strangler was
such a psychopath.
CHARISMATIC
PSYCHOPATHS are charming, attractive liars. They are usually gifted at some
talent or another, and they use it to their advantage in manipulating others.
They are usually fast-talkers, and possess an almost demonic ability to persuade
others out of everything they own, even their lives. Leaders of religious sects
or cults, for example, might be psychopaths if they lead their followers to
their deaths. This subtype often comes to believe in their own fictions. They
are irresistible.
Sociopaths have
always existed in varying form and to various degrees. They have been known by
various titles. They have been studied using various techniques, and through the
years their ailment has been blamed on various causes. But one thing never
varies: all sociopaths share three common characteristics. They are all very
egocentric individuals with no empathy for others, and they are incapable of
feeling remorse or guilt. [The Sociopath Rebecca Horton (April
1999)]
While the
psychopath has likes and dislikes and fondness for the pleasures that human
company can bring, analysis shows that he is completely egocentric, valuing
others only for their enhancement of his own pleasure or status.
While he
gives no real love, he is quite capable of inspiring love of sometimes
fanatical degree in others.
He is
generally superficially charming and often makes a striking impression as
possessed of the noblest of human qualities.
He makes
friends easily, and is very manipulative, using his ability with words to talk
his way out of trouble. Many psychopaths love to be admired and bask in the
adulation of others. With the lack of love, there is also a lack of empathy. The
psychopath is unable to feel sorry for others in unfortunate situations or put
himself in another's place, whether or not they have been harmed by him.[Gordon
Banks]
How
Psychopaths View The World
Not only do they
covet possessions and power, but they gain special pleasure in usurping and
taking from others (a symbolic sibling, for example); what they can plagiarize,
swindle, and extort are fruits far sweeter than those they can earn through
honest labor. And once having drained what they can from one source, they turn
to another to exploit, bleed, and then cast aside; their pleasure in the
misfortune of others is unquenchable.
People are used as
a means to an end; they are to be subordinated and demeaned so that the
antisocial can vindicate themselves...
The causes of this
sociopathic disorder have been narrowed to several factors through research.
One of the primary
causes of sociopathic behavior is believed to be neurological
abnormalities mainly in the frontal lobe of the brain. This area is also
related to fear conditioning. The abnormal anatomy or chemical activity within
this area of the brain may be caused by abnormal growth (possibly genetic),
brain disease, or injury. This theory has been supported by much research using
positron emission tomography (PET) which visually shows the metabolic activity
of neurons within the brain (Sabbatini, 1998).
The amygdalae, two
small regions buried near the base of the brain, have long been known to affect
aggression, sexuality and recklessness. Recently, they have also been shown to
affect how people interpret the emotions of others. Subtle damage to the
amygdalae may explain many of the characteristics of psychopaths - including the
difficulty of getting through to them emotionally. It may be that they simply
cannot "see" emotions in others. [Are
You Married to a Psychopath?]
The psychopath is a
manipulator, who knows exactly what makes us tick and knows how to
manipulate and influence our feelings. They have the talent to spot “kind,
caring” women.
Mimicry is often
used to convince others that the psychopath is a normal human being. He does
this to create a false empathy with his victim. The psychopath will try to make
you believe he has normal emotions by spinning some sad tale or professing
profound, moving experiences; the truth is, most psychopaths go through life as
in an incubator, touched by few and having no real compassion for others; but
they will lie to convince you that they have normal emotions. The pity factor is
one reason why victims often fall for these "poor" people.
Lying is like
breathing to the psychopath. From personal experience with psychopaths, I can
relate to this.
When caught in a
lie and challenged, they make up new lies, and don't care if they're found out.
As Hare states,
"Lying, deceiving, and manipulation are natural talents for
psychopaths...
When caught in a
lie or challenged with the truth, they are seldom perplexed or embarrassed --
they simply change their stories or attempt to rework the facts so that they
appear to be consistent with the lie.
The results are a
series of contradictory statements and a thoroughly confused listener." [Hare,
46].
Often, their
behaviour serves to confuse and repress their victims, or to influence anyone
who might listen to the psychopath's side of the story. Manipulation is the
key to their conquests, and lying is one way they achieve this.
One almost
amusing example of how psychopaths lie can be exemplified by a man who's
footprint was discovered at the scene of the crime.
"No, that's not
my foot" he said, even though everyone knew he was lying.
This is how
psychopaths operate. They will deny reality until their victims have a nervous
breakdown.
Often, the
psychopath will turn on the victim and claim that the victim suffers from
"delusions" and is not mentally stable.
The psychopath is
primarily distracted and impressed by his own grandiose self-representation,
which often leads to him unwittingly telling people things that lead to his
detection.
They often forget
the lies they told and tell contradicting tales, which often makes the listener
wonder if either the psychopath is crazy, although in this case the psychopath
isn't really crazy -- he's just forgotten what lies he's told.
The most amazing
thing, however, is their selective memory. A psychopath might not remember the
promises he made to you yesterday, but he will remember something from the past
if it suits his purposes in some way. They often do this whenever they're
confronted or caught in a lie.
Most psychopaths
are very arrogant and cocky. However, when charming a potential victim, they say
all the "right" things and make you believe they are kind-hearted souls; not
always, but often enough.
The truth is,
psychopaths are not altruistic and do not really care about friendships or ties.
Guggenbuhl-Craig states that they are very talented at appearing much more
humble than the average person, but are hardly so.
Some are also able
to feign concern about the lower classes and profess that they are on the side
of the underdog, the poor, and so forth.
A psychopath may
claim, for instance (if he's from a low socio-economic class), that he dislikes
rich people intensely, but at the same time, he will inwardly yearn and envy
what they have. He is like the narcissist, desiring to reflect a false image of
himself through his possessions. Among his possessions areincluded human beings:
girlfriends, wives, and children. Some psychopaths can even be very fond of
animals (contrary to the common viewpoint), but still view them as objects in
relation to themselves.
In general, most
psychopaths will brag endlessly about their exploits and "bad" things they've
done (often called a warning sign, which will ward off careful souls), but
more often than not, the woman who is fascinated by him will not listen to
reason, even if she is warned by others who know him about his past behaviours.
Why?
Once again, because
the psychopath makes her feel so "special." Please ladies, if you're stuck on
any man who is like this, you must come to terms with the fact that it is NOT
his REAL personality. He is only playing a ROLE for you.
Dr. Black states
that one of the most obvious signs of psychopathy is the way the individual will
brag about his experiences, no matter "how unsavory...his apparent comfort with
his deviant behavior, the ease with which he discuss(es) breaking every rule,
(is) consistent with ASP (psychopathy)." [Black, 68].
The psychopath
is filled with greed inside, relating to the world through power, even though,
as I said, on the outside he can claim to be on the side of the disenfranchised
or the downtrodden. I knew one who liked to repeat phrases such as "they have to
stop keeping my brothers down" but he didn't mean a word of it. He was actually
a racist. The psychopath can also often identify himself as a
revolutionary.
On the flip side,
the psychopath also often paints a picture of himself as the downcast
anti-hero (his "own worst enemy type") and some like to see themselves as
lone-wolves. The psychopath may even claim he is sensitive and profound,
but inside he is nothing but emptiness and greed.
Whether or not the
psychopath is aware of his behaviour is something that is often debated. I do
believe that psychopaths usually know exactly what they are doing, although
others suggest that psychopaths are "born, not made."
As mentioned,
psychopaths often claim to settle for second best (being their own worst
enemy) and then think they deserve better. This may be manifested in the way
they seek power -- either through money (i.e. material goods), manipulation
and/or treating people as objects. By enacting such behaviours, the psychopath
is also trying to "get back" at society and the world, in order to gain
retribution.
They will spend
their entire lives doing this, whether they are rich or poor, or whatever their
social background may be, although studies have shown that they often come from
an impoverished or lower socio- economic background and/or social status. (In
one of Dr. Donald Black's studies, many of the men were "overwhelmingly white,
blue collar, lower middle class, and married, and most had not graduated from
high school." [Black, 14]).
Let me add, despite
Dr. Blacks' studies, psychopaths can still exist in any social class. Do not be
misled. I also wanted to point out that I will be using "he" and "him" for the
term psychopath throughout this website; let it not be forgotten, yes, female
psychopaths exist as well; however, according to the Sixth Edition of
Abnormal Behavior, printed in 2000 by three male professors, David,
Derald, and Stanley Sue, the rates do differ by gender. Included in their
excellent text is a report by the The American Psychiatric Association that the
general estimate is 3% for men, and less than 1% in women [Personality
Disorders and Impulse Control Disorders, 238].
What is very
disturbing about psychopaths, besides their sense of special entitlement, is the
complete lack of empathy for normal people, for "antisocials (psychopaths) seem
to lack a conscience, feeling little or no empathy for the people whose lives
they touch...the antisocial effortlessly resists all regulation, unable to see
beyond his self-interest or to adopt standards of right versus wrong."
[Black, XIII].
Not all psychopath
are uneducated low-class misfits. Some of them are quite handsome and have good
careers, and use this all the more to their benefit. Take a look at Ted
Bundy; my friend's mother once went on a double-date with him and claimed he
was the nicest person. His mother said he was the "best son any mother could
have." Bundy was also apparently quite good-looking, which made him even more
dangerous. So not all psychopaths are derelict, low-class, high school
drop-outs, there are many who also work in professional occupations; the fact
remains that there are just more psychopaths who come from impoverished
backgrounds than not.
Also, not all
psychopaths are calm, cool, and collected. Some of them appear strange or odd,
and their behaviour can be eccentric or unusual. I believe this is what can
confuse victims most often. Psychopaths often appear intense and "electrifying".
Do not be misled if someone appears harmless, "foolish", or seems offbeat. An
"angelic" visage can also often fool people. Just picture John Wayne Gacy in his
"clown costume" as he entertained children as one example.
Another example
which someone on the "Victims of Psychopathy" board came up with was Bill
Clinton and his "goofy" yet loveable demeanour (so is Clinton really a
psychopath? Many believe he is).
A psychopath (he
was diagnosed anti-social) I knew used the harmless cover-up quite well.
Everyone thought he was very funny. I did too, at first. Then, little by little,
I realised there was something "not right" about him.
At first his
seemingly harmless pranks were charming, but after a while, he became more of a
nuisance and disrupted our work environment, which created havoc and tension
between employees. I've learned, a psychopath can use these disguises for his
own hidden purpose.
Regardless of race,
social class, or occupation, however, the psychopath is dangerous to
society, for "the nature of ASP (psychopathy) implies that it wreaks more
havoc on society than most other mental illnesses do, since the disorder
primarily involves reactions against the social environment that drag other
people into its destructive web...
The despair and
anxiety wrought by antisocials (psychopaths) tragically affects families and
communities, leaving deep physical and emotional scars..." [Black,
5].
There is much to
the psychopathic personality which is baffling and disturbing. 1 in about 25-30
people are psychopathic (also known as sociopaths or anti-social -- the correct
title being psychopath.) Since the majority or them are men, I wrote this site
in part, to warn women about the dangers, especially women online, which I
believe is a favourite "new medium" which appeals to psychopaths. I have
personal experience with this subject as well. This is because "antisocials
(psychopaths) are not just characters in our fictional or true-life
entertainments. They are family members, friends, co-workers, neighbors, or
strangers we may encounter every day." [Black, 10].
Pamela Jayne, M.A.,
writes that "30% of men are sociopathic." If about every three out of ten men I
may meet are psychopathic, I would assume this is not something to take lightly.
According to these statistics, that would mean every three out of ten men and
maybe every one out of ten females. The truth is, we do not really know
exactly how many individuals are psychopathic; however, there seems to be a rise
in the prevalence of psychopathy and that is why some claim that numbers are
higher. Dr. Black claims that psychopathy leads right behind depression,
along with schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder, which is an
astounding fact.
Psychopaths are
often witty and articulate and almost always "glib."
They can be
"amusing and entertaining conversationalists, ready with a quick and clever
comeback, and can tell unlikely but convincing stories...
They can be very
effective in presenting themselves well and are often very likeable and
charming. To some people, however, they seem too slick and smooth, too
obviousely insincere and superficial. Astute observers often get the impression
that psychopaths are play-acting, mechanically "reading their lines." [Hare,
35].
...They may ramble
and tell stories that seem unlikely in light of what is known about them.
Typically, they attempt to appear familiar with sociology, psychiatry,
medicine, psychology, philosophy, poetry, literature, art, or law. A
signpost to this trait is often a smooth lack of concern at being found out."
[Hare, 35].
One psychopathic
individual I knew claimed that he had a genius IQ and that he was
studying several different majors at college.
"When I found out I
had a genius IQ, that's when all my trouble started" he said. I asked him,
"Why?" He replied, "'Cause I'm too smart for my own good."
In the end I found
out these were lies because he was, in fact, a high school drop-out.
Despite their
failures, psychopaths have a very "narcissistic and grossly inflated view of
their self-worth and importance, a truly astounding egocentricity and sense of
entitlement, and see themselves as the center of the universe, as superior
beings who are justified in living according to their own rules." [Hare, 38].
They often come
across as "arrogant, shameless braggarts--self-assured, opinionated,
domineering, and cocky. They love to have power and control over others and seem
unable to believe that people have valid opinions different from theirs. They
appear charismatic or 'electrifying' to some people." [Hare, 38].
I know exactly what
Hare means when I recall one person I used to know (who had been diagnosed); he
always seemed to be charming everyone around him, although in the end every
woman who fell for him ended up becoming hostile when they realized all he had
been doing was leading each one on simultaneousely.
The psychopath is
callous, remorseless, and unempathetic, although at first glance he may not seem
that way. He is often exceedingly witty, chameleon-like, charming (but not
always, especially when not in a "good" mood), the person who attracts a circle
of admirers around him at every party, but more often that not, he is usually
avoided -- once people find out what he's really like.
Psychopaths often
end up associating with others like themselves, although in some cases they
don't always get along that well.
Sometimes they pair
up with other psychopaths and become a close team, one may be a "talker" while
the other is a "doer," and so forth, although I strongly believe that these
roles are interchangeable when dealing with a psychopathic duo. Hare states, "As
long as their interests are complimentary, they make a formidable pair." [Hare,
65]. It has also been reported that some acquaintances may never really discover
their truly dark side.
Psychopaths and Relationships
It is in this
realm that the psychopath comes closest to the psychotic.
While seemingly
in full possession of his reasoning ability, by all the means of clinical
psychology to test and assess them, the psychopath demonstrates an inability to
comprehend the meaning and significance of his behavior for other people, and to
judge their probable reactions to his behavior. He is often astounded to find
that people are upset by his exploits. [Gordon
Banks]
.
.Histrionic...women are particularly attracted and vulnerable to psychopathic
males.
The
hysteric-personality-disordered female is likely to be enamored of the
psychopath...She is able...to reciprocate in this projective-introjective cycle
by predominately idealizing the psychopathic character. Her need for
attachment and dependency complements his desire for detachment and autonomy;
she perceives others as all-giving and benevolent, and he perceives others as
all-taking and malevolent.
The hysterical
woman is immune to developing a healthy suspicion when details or
circumstances don't fit (also relating to the illogicity of his
thoughts/behavior) or do not corroborate the psychopath's oral version of his
history. [From "The Psychopathic Mind" -- Origins, Dynamics, and
Treatment J. Reil Meloy]
The real danger
about psychopaths is that some women, in particular, actually have a
psychological predisposition towards forming attachments to them. They even fall
in love with them. These women, usually of a hysteric or histrionic personality,
feel empowered when attached to the psychopath, regardless of the truth she has
been told about him, or regardless of what he himself has told her. Some of
these women have an underlying fantasy to feel that they are in control with the
psychopathic male (according to Meloy).
At the same time, I
often question whether it's only the "neurotics" who fall prey to psychopaths.
It should be stated that Freud is responsible for the entire coinage of neurotic
women, which makes me a bit suspicious. I will present the information, but at
the same time, I'm not agreeing with it completely, because it seems that all
women, regardless of their "neurotic" natures or not, are prey to psychopaths.
We've heard of the
extreme cases, such as the women who fell in love with the Night-Stalker,
Richard Ramirez, but in general, you will find psychopaths in quite innocuous
places, and they always know how to spot a vulnerable woman who will feed their
self-image of grandiosity. Of course, good looks help in these matters.
The reason so many
women fell in love with Ramirez, has been speculated, was probably also
intensified because of his brooding, handsome looks and the fact that he could
appear vulnerable, "like a little kid," said one admirer.
Whether or not
being able to feel pity and compassion for a male makes a woman neurotic has yet
to be proven. The truth is, an attractive psychopath is probably more dangerous
than a less attractive one, by all means.
For many women, the
attachment to a psychopath goes beyond mere Freudian analysis -- many simply
deny the truth, blindly trusting and ignoring reality.
Some, even when
presented with the cold hard facts, will still admit that they cannot stop
loving their psychopathic partner, even after they've been discarded by him.
This problem is both a psychosexual one (women with personality disorders
themselves who become obsessed with psychopaths), or women who just won't admit
to the truth or are ignorant about the situation. It can even be a combination
of all factors. Regardless, the psychopath knows whom to "choose."
As I said, the
information regarding "histrionic women" and "hysterics" as typical victims was
taken from the ideas of Meloy, but does not represent the norm as it
were.
Anyone can be
conned and taken in by the psychopath.
Psychopaths pick on
everyone, whether rich or poor, smart or not so bright. Although it does seem
that the mentally ill are more susceptible: the aforementioned hystrionics,
etc., as well as victims with borderline personality disorder.
Also, trying to
"spot" a psychopath by appearance, as I already noted, is not easy. As one
student of psychopathy told me, "They often alter their appearance to appear
non- threatening, or to create a persona."
Tim Field, a noted
author and researcher of psychopathy, believes that the psychopath picks out
people who can see through him: "A bully's (sociopath) apparent self-esteem and
self-confidence is actually arrogance, an unsustainable belief of
invulnerability honed from his willingness to act outside the bounds of society
to ensure their survival. Targets (or victims) are people who can see through
the arrogance to perceive the empty shell behind it - and bullies can sense
who can see through them, furthering the target's elimination." [Bully
OnLine]. This usually happens in the workplace, and in situations where the
psychopath has let his mask drop.
According to the
author of The Psychopathic Mind (Meloy), when needing to
manipulate a female, the psychopath often targets women who are what is often
called the "dumb blonde" type, the kind of woman who exudes naivete, often
unconscious of her own sexuality, vapid innocence, often not too bright -- their
personalities usually border on the Pollyanish, and they always see a silver
lining in every cloud. Not that there is anything essentially wrong with
innocence or optimism, but when dealing with a psychopath, that can prove a bad
combination. Psychopaths seem to be attracted to this type of woman in
particular. She is nurturing and all-giving, while he is closed-off and
retentive.
They have "an
uncanny ability to spot and use 'nurturant' women -- that is, those who have a
powerful need to help or mother others." [Hare, 149]. As Hare recounts, a
particular "nurturance-seeking missile" who had a local reputation for
attracting a steady stream of female visitors seemed to have this talent. He was
"not particularly good-looking or very interesting to talk to. But he had a
certain cherubic quality that some women, staff included, seemed to find
attractive. One woman commented that she 'always had an urge to cuddle him.'
Another said that 'he needs mothering.'" [Hare, 149].
Psychopaths also
like to "attach" to women of higher social status, a woman who represents what
he would like to be. Then when he is through with her, he can destroy her and
"kill two birds with one stone." However, regardless of what personality type
they go after, everyone is still a target.
Like the
narcissist, the psychopath has an arrogant, disdainful, and patronizing
attitude; however, let me make this clear: often in the initial stages of
charming someone new, the true character is kept hidden, naturally. That is why,
when a woman warns another woman about a psychopathic man, his newest victim
will not be able to believe the bad stories about him. "But he's so
charming, so kind, so nice..." and so forth will be her reply. Yes. Exactly. He
is playing a game with you too.
Psychopaths have a
grandiose self-structure which demands "a scornful and detached devaluation of
others" [Gacon et al 1992], in order to ward off envy toward the good perceived
in people. They react towards perceived or existing attachment capacities with
ambivelence and often aggression. According to Meloy, most of them transfer the
attachment to "hard objects" such as weapons, knives, [magical practices] etc.
The grandiose self is represented onto the weapon or object and is a projection
of themselves. This of course is more in depth study of the psychopath. Not all
psychopaths have a gun collection or a favourite knife or sword, but a great
deal of them do tend to be fond of weapons and such symbols of aggression and
dominance. I'm not sure if this is true in all cases, but one psychopath I
knew loved swords. He was obsessed with them and loved weapons of all
kinds.
How
To Deal With Psychopaths
If you leave the
psychopath, you can expect that he will either be the type who doesn't make any
"noise" but ruins your reputation by spreading lies, or you can expect a lot of
open manipulation (a final attempt to gain power and control).
For example, I left
a psychopath, and to this day, if given the opportunity, he will tell friends to
warn me that I am nothing but a "bug" on his windshield and that he has the
ability to destroy me like an insect. Meanwhile, he has also spread false
stories about me to anyone who'll listen. Why does he do this? After dealing
with this annoying behaviour for nearly two years, I've come to a conclusion:
Even though they cannot really love another person, and lack real deep-seated
emotions, psychopaths relate to others through power and control. If someone
should actually attempt to "demean" (in his eyes, this is very real) his power
and control, he will react to some extent. The psychopath also made himself
appear in control by stating that he "kicked" me out, even though he lived in
his mother's house. Later on, he also told my friend that I was nothing but an
"experiment" to him, after I had lost money, time, and suffered immensely
because of his lying and manipulation. By suffering, I also count extreme
depression which lasted nearly two years, as he did not stop attacking me in
the two years after (even to this day) that I left him.
I believe that
some individuals are strong enough to stand up to the psychopath; unfortunately,
not all people are, and most psychopaths succeed in permanently damaging their
victims. This is why we clearly need more support groups for people who have
been in relationships with psychopaths.
In sum, the
experience of dealing with a psychopath can be very troubling for most people,
not to mention, when he is through with you, you can be sure that you will be
vilified falsely, no doubt about it.
I recently asked
Field about what one can do when faced with the lies of a psychopath (Field
refers to them as sociopaths) and the apparent absence of justice when it comes
to their behaviour - - Field's response was:
"The main lesson
I have learnt is that when dealing with a sociopath, the normal rules of
etiquette do not apply. You are dealing with someone who has no empathy, no
conscience, no remorse, and no guilt...It is a completely different mindset.
Words like 'predator' and 'evil' are often used."
If you try to deal
with psychopaths in an ethical manner, you will be in for a shock. Dr. William
Higgins claims that you "can't negotiate or bargain with
psychopaths."
Psychopaths will
not only deny the past and trivialize it, but will avoid answering your
questions directly, and even if they seem to answer them -- you can be sure that
it's not the answer you were looking for. It has been said that even when they
do give you a straight answer, the real issue will never be addressed by them,
although they may even claim to be honourable when it suits them. But don't be
fooled, for this is where the psychopath wants his victim -- he wants to shame
you while at the same time fitting you into his plans; this is because
"psychopaths show a stunning lack of concern for the devastating effects their
actions have on others. Often they are completely forthright about the matter,
calmly stating that they no have no sense of guilt, are not sorry for the pain
and destruction they have caused, and that there is no reason for them to be
concerned." [Hare, 41].
On the other hand,
"psychopaths sometimes verbalize remorse but then contradict themselves in words
or actions." [Hare, 41].
Psychopaths may
apologize or show remorse only to get away with something, but in the end
you will be stabbed in the back and realize how very shallow their words
were.
The psychopath
appears not to be able to remember what they had said or committed to for very
long. They seem to always be living in the present. That is why they are usually
guilty of being big "promise- makers" who cannot live up to their word. Once
again, it will be the victim who must deal with the aftermath of all the
psychopath's twists and turns, and when he gets you angry enough, you will be
discredited as "defective" by him, and the psychopath will often make himself
out to be the real victim. As John Wayne Gacy once said, "I was the victim, I
was cheated out of my childhood."
What often happens
in the aftermath, as Field has stated, is that the victim may repress his or her
anger for a quite a while, but then, often many months later, a sudden
realization of the truth may come over the individual, and the victim will
finally realize that all along he/she has been bullied by the psychopath. This
is when the victim suddenly becomes very angry and is motivated to have some
sort of justice. But when trying to obtain justice with a psychopath, be aware
that you will be the one to pay if you don't take a firm stand; the experience
will have you more confused and bewildered, and you may even feel tempted to
fight fire with fire.
In some cases,
our society allows psychopathy because we do not really fight back against
cheating and lying behaviours (one good example: Bill Clinton).
They are also
good at tricking their own psychiatrists. For instance, two individuals I knew
bragged that they liked to play mind-games with psychiatrists. "I was the
case-study; they could never figure out what was wrong with me, so I would just
play mind-games with them" commented one of them.
He also learned,
from reading about psychiatry and having therapy, that he could just "blame
someone else" to get away with things. "I just blame someone else" he said,
nonchalantely. When asked, in particular, why he hated his mother so much, (he
claimed she physically/mentally/emotionally abused him), he replied, "Because my
mother projects all of the assholes she's ever been dumped by on me."
That is why Hare
believes that therapy makes psychopaths worse; most of them learn about human
emotions through psychiatry, and they are "eager to attribute their faults and
problems to childhood abuse." [Hare, 50]. Also, "antisocials (psychopaths)
themselves can be uncooperative or unpleasant, complicating efforts to study and
treat them." [Black, 12].
As for recovery
from the psychopath, despite the pain that may be left (some people never
recover, according to Field), you will learn how very uncomplicated yet cowardly
the psychopath's means of keeping cool is. It's just the way the psychopath must
function to maintain their rather fragile (but set in stone for life)
self-image.
While few
psychopaths commit violent crimes, the callousness of the average psychopath
usually ranges through subtle, but still devastating misdeeds: "Parasitically
bleeding other people of their possessions, savings, and dignity; aggressively
doing and taking what they want; shamefully neglecting the physical and
emotional welfare of their families; engaging in an unending series of casual,
impersonal, and trivial sexual relationships; and so forth." [Hare, 45]. This is
a main feature of their lack of empathy.
Also, be forewarned
that the psychopath will expend much effort (at the victim's cost), in setting
up plans, expectations, etc., but they give very little, or nothing, in return.
When he knows he's
done something to you which you may not comply with, he'll have an escape route
ready. Most normal people do the same thing, in a general sense, but the
psychopath does it out of pure selfishness, greed, and callousness. He won't
care whether it hurts your feelings or not, whatever treachery he enacts will
not be disguised once the show is over with him.
I would like to
recount the experience of a friend of mine from Japan. She had been
communicating with a man who lived in San Diego for over a year, and during the
time of their correspondences and phone calls, he seemed so "sweet, caring, and
kind." She mentioned how beautifully written his emails were, and so
on.
It came to pass
that this man asked my friend to marry him, and, to top it off, he promised her
that he had a job ready for her in the city where he lived, he even sent her a
letter from the company with all the information. Well, my friend believed him
and came to the United States to marry him. On their first meeting, she
mentioned how it was already the beginning of the end, and how she should have
seen it coming. She told him, after they met at the airport, that she needed to
make a phone call, and instead of letting her use his cell- phone, he told her
to use the pay-phone. My friend, albeit naive, mentioned that this contradicted
his persona on the phone and through emails. She said she was a bit shocked, but
nevertheless she married him.
As the weeks went
by, things got worse. She found out that there was no job, and that the letter
he had sent her was actually just the letterhead from the company copied onto
another paper. In other words, her new husband had committed forgery in order to
trick her. Next, she began to receive phone calls from women in the Phillipines
and Canada who told her that her new husband had been inviting them (via online)
to come and live with him. My friend was so distraught that she told these women
over and over that he was lying to all of them while playing the biggest trick
of all on her. The women didn't believe it (why do women tend to disbelieve
another woman when they are trying to warn them?), but eventually, my friend
told them "If you want to see the proof that I am married to him, then come here
and I will prove it."
Eventually, she
learned from friends and family that Mr. Wonderful was a pathological liar who
had a long history of using women and having his mother cover his tracks for
him, and, sad to say, this wasn't the only one she ran into. I can say the same,
that is why I've written this website, because I can tell you that these people
are out there, and I don't want anything to happen to anyone else or go through
what my friend or myself have experienced. It is my goal that through my
website, more people, not only women, but men, will become informed and not
become victims themselves, because it is truly a painful experience to deal
with.
So, what is the
lowdown on dealing with psychopaths?
Either avoid
them, or, once you know or suspect what they are, avoid them.
Any further
contact with a psychopath will be truly damaging. Once you have been involved
with a few of them, like many people I know, you also learn to watch for the
"red flags." This doesn't mean you should be paranoid about people, just
careful.
The fact is,
regardless of all studies and new therapies, psychopaths are "hard-wired" for
life-long bad behaviour.
Leland M. Heller,
M.D., writes that people who have this disorder have symptoms which include
lying, cheating, cruelty, criminal behaviour, irresponsibility, lack of remorse,
poor relationships, exploitation, manipulation, destructiveness, irritability,
aggressiveness, and job failures.
Many do not exhibit
criminal behaviour, but act antisocially in socially acceptable
professions.
Alcohol makes the
disorder worse, and psychopaths are very prone to substance abuse. The causes
are often "poor parental discipline, association with "bad" kids, and poor
bonding with parents..." [Heller, 75]. But the causes can also be mostly
biological.
Another
characteristic is their unusual word usage, because they can't
distinguish between neutral and emotional words. One psychopathic individual
told me that he was "deftly afraid of needles" once, but the word deftly implies
"skill." Instead of saying "deathly afraid," he said "deftly," and never noticed
it was wrong. (See Hare's book for more interesting examples of
this).
Strangely enough,
many find the psychopath's verbal deftness quite charming, and psychopaths do
tend to talk a lot, especially when they're pouring on the charm.
The question is,
can you spot one before they get to you?
That is why it's
important to study whether or not you may be the type who falls for them, who,
in essence, becomes prey to believing in them.
Some people may
find concern over psychopathy irrelevant, but it's not.
Psychopathy
causes tremendous damage in our society, and affects all levels of our lives. It
causes illnesses and disorders such as PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder).
Money is also lost by innocent victims to psychopaths, and these social
predators also do much economic damage to our society.
Everyone,
especially women, should learn to identify psychopathy and watch for red flags.
This doesn't mean diagnosing every man you date, but preferably just being aware
of the disorder can help out a lot! After my own experiences, I truly believe in
the saying "better safe than sorry."
I will empasize
once more that I do believe most women transfer what they want to believe onto
the psychopath, to the extent that he is painted in an unrealistic light, so
psychopaths can also "play with your mind" in this regard.
Most victims of the
psychopath only see what they want to see, initially. That is why Field says,
"Naivete is the great enemy."
Many also "cling to
the belief that their loved one (the psychopath) simply has a few problems just
like anyone else, not the symptoms of a personality disorder." [Black,
59].
In the book
When Your Lover Is a Liar the issue of psychopathy and how
psychopaths manipulate women is also pointed out.
The author believes
that a psychopath's greatest thrill is just being able to "pull the wool" over a
woman's eyes.
For people who are
emotionally normal, we cannot understand what kind of thrill this is or why some
of them would go to such lengths in order to trick someone. But as Dr. Heller
states, "psychopaths feel no remorse, and actually enjoy their antisocial
behavior." (Heller, 76).
Also, what I
believe makes them most dangerous, is that they can be quite charming and
persuasive, and "they have remarkably good insight into the needs and
weaknesses of other people" as recounted in the text, Psychology In
Action: "Even when they are indifferent to the rights of their
associates, they are often able to inspire feelings of trust and
confidence." This is best exemplified by a psychopath who professes that
"everything is fine" while lying point-blank to your face with seeming honesty
and candor, and then, as soon as you turn away for a second, he will stab you in
the back.
In the end, you
will know them "by their fruits" so to speak. They will be sure to let you know
who's boss. As one female victim recounted in Hare's book Without
Conscience... she couldn't understand how someone (the psychopath she
had known) could have wormed his way into her life and then just disappeared so
easily. This is how they operate. They just don't give a damn about anyone.
Except themselves.
Another very strong
characteristic to look for (or listen for) is what Dr. Hare refers to as "duping
delight." It is as if the psychopath has no need to lie or purpose in lying, the
pleasure is attained through merely pulling one over on somebody.
As for addictions
and so forth, "among the clearest of these links is the one between ASP
(psychopathy) and the abuse of alcohol and other drugs," [Black, 91], although
most psychopaths would never admit they have a drinking problem, even when it's
obvious. As one psychopath put it, "I know how to drink. Drinking is a
responsibility, I've been doing it since I was 12."
So, once again: Can
psychopaths change? Can you change them?
No, they choose to
behave as they do, even though, to some extent they do have a personality
disorder. Dr. Black, however, believes that even those patients who "show the
greatest change seem unable to comprehend the degree to which their actions
affected those around them. They may continue to live in emotional isolation.
Self-interest is a natural component of the human makeup, but it is especially
strong in antisocials and leaves many of them unable to develop full compassion,
consience, and other attributes that make for successul social relations."
[Black, 144].
"Don't Expect A Miracle"
In consequence,
whether or not they can't or don't desire to change, studies have shown that
they won't change, in general, so don't waste your time trying to help or
change them, for the help you offer will always be repaid to you in full by
treachery.
Black also believes
that "victims may fear revenge or other potential consequences, but leaving the
abusive situation (with a psychopath) is often better than trying to survive in
a relationship built on intimidation and violence." [Black, 185].
Personally, I also
believe that it's better to not accept meager crumbs of fake affection from a
psychopath. No one needs that kind of abuse. If you keep taking that abuse, I
can grant you that you will pay for it both mentally and emotionally, for a very
long time. The end result is what is referred to as having been
psychologically battered.
Some people,
feeling that they need to save others (co-dependents), and perhaps a bit proud
in their need to prove a point, often fall prey to psychopaths because they
refuse to believe the truth. I also wanted to make note that some psychopaths
appear to show some insight into their own personality make-up ("I'm a jerk,"
etc.); however, this does not really mean that they care how they behave. They
choose to behave this way.
The aftermath of
dealing with these individuals and the recovery process can be a "long, slow and
painful process" according to Field - - but one must remember that if you have
been a victim (target) you are only the "latest in a long line of people onto
whom he (the psychopath) had to displace his aggression. He will probably do
this throughout his life."
Sad to say,
"antisocials (psychopaths) often spend their last years alone, sometimes plagued
by regret for what they never knew they were missing until it was too late."
[Black, 89].
Do I find this a
sad fact? Yes. It is very sad and I find it extremely unfortunate that there are
people who live their lives this way. But like I mentioned before, as I cannot
emphasize this enough: no matter how much pity or compassion you may have for a
psychopathic individual, don't try "saving" them. It will only hurt you in the
end. As my friend from Japan stated, "(These people) just don't care whether
what they do may ruin your life! They can ruin your life!"
Hare's PCL-R 20-item checklist
Hare's PCL-R 20-item
checklist is based on Cleckley's 16-item checklist, and the following is a
discussion of the concepts in the PCL-R:
1. GLIB and
SUPERFICIAL CHARM -- the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick,
and verbally facile. Psychopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious,
or afraid to say anything. A psychopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed
themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for
example.
2. GRANDIOSE
SELF-WORTH -- a grossly inflated view of one's abilities and self-worth,
self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Psychopaths are arrogant people
who believe they are superior human beings.
3. NEED FOR
STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM -- an excessive need for novel,
thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are
risky. Psychopaths often have a low self- discipline in carrying tasks through
to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job
for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull
or routine.
4. PATHOLOGICAL
LYING -- can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd,
crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive,
deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.
5. CONNING AND
MANIPULATIVENESS- the use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud
others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which
exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of
concern for the feelings and suffering of one's victims.
6. LACK OF
REMORSE OR GUILT -- a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and
suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted,
and unempathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one's
victims.
7. SHALLOW
AFFECT -- emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings;
interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.
8. CALLOUSNESS
and LACK OF EMPATHY -- a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold,
contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.
9. PARASITIC
LIFESTYLE -- an intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative
financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low
self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.
10. POOR
BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS -- expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience,
threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper;
acting hastily.
11. PROMISCUOUS
SEXUAL BEHAVIOR -- a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous
affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of
several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce
others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits
or conquests.
12. EARLY
BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS -- a variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including
lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting,
glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.
13. LACK OF
REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS -- an inability or persistent failure to develop
and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking
direction in life.
14.
IMPULSIVITY -- the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack
reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges;
a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash,
unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.
15.
IRRESPONSIBILITY -- repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and
commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy
work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual
agreements.
16. FAILURE TO
ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS -- a failure to accept responsibility
for one's actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness,
antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate
others through this denial.
17. MANY
SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS -- a lack of commitment to a long-term
relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments
in life, including marital.
18. JUVENILE
DELINQUENCY -- behavior problems between the ages of 13- 18; mostly
behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism,
exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless
tough-mindedness.
19. REVOCATION
OF CONDITION RELEASE -- a revocation of probation or other conditional
release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or
failing to appear.
20. CRIMINAL
VERSATILITY -- a diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the
person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting
away with crimes.
From: An American Obsession
... the Psychopath
I wish to
educate and warn you the reader of some of the more common signs that the person
in question -- usually a male -- is someone you should detach from...and
quickly! The sooner you can detect a troublesome person, the better off you will
be. One quick check is your placement of him/r on the asshole scale. Now
remember, not every jerk or idiot is necessarily psychotic! However, the
psychopath is an extreme form of the "asshole" personality type, they've just
learned to conceal it most of the time and appear to be "nice, charming" people.
They are developmentally stuck in their early years, still fighting the battles
of authority and parental control over them!
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Communication. We invite the reader to share in our seeking of Truth by
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point in one of our probable futures.
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